


G’night, muppet

by OnlyOneWoman



Series: Aces of Spades and Hearts [2]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality Spectrum, But not fucking, Canon Divergence Characters, Cooking, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dinner, Falling In Love, Ficlet, Fluff, Irish slang, Lowbones, M/M, Molière's Tartuffe, Nerdiness, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pet Names, Romantic Fluff, Sleeping Together, Sleepovers, Theater - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, a little insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 10:17:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9717878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyOneWoman/pseuds/OnlyOneWoman
Summary: A follow-up to the modern AU Billy/Ned ace fluff "Nerds With Privileges" no one asked for :) I'm not ace myself, but I find it interesting to try and write about an ace pairing. I hope it doesn't come off weird. There's homecooked dinner, Molière's "Tartuffe" with Irish slang, silly nicknames, insecurity and a lot of cuddles.If you're a fan of History Channel's "Vikings" and remember Tadhg Murphy's role Arne, or have seen this awesome actor in another role than Ned Low, "my" Ned will be far closer to those than the Ned Low character. And Billy is definately not a "Black Sails season 4 Billy".





	

”No way!”  
”Please?”  
”I’d have to be plastered for that now.”  
”Why?”  
”Cause otherwise I’d feel like a bloody spanner.”  
  
They’re at Billy’s place. Cooking, drinking beer and talking. It’s the first time they’re cooking together. Ned sits crosslegged on one of the chairs, slicing mushrooms for the pasta sauce and refusing to make a fool out of himself. Or as he says, _spanner._ Billy takes a sip of his beer, squatting next to Ned’s chair with puppy eyes.  
  
”What if I ask really, really nice…?”  
”Billy…”  
”And do the dishes.”  
”Now ye’re not fair.”  
”It’s not my fault I love your accent.”  
”Ah, that’s why ye want me…”  
”Of course. You want me for my big muscles and I want you for your exotic accent.”  
”Ye don’t even like theater.”  
”But I like you…”  
”Just ’like’?”  
  
Ned’s mock pouting and Billy gives him a kiss on cheek, allowing himself to linger just a little, feeling the scrape of Ned’s stubble against his lips. They’ve been together for three months now, dating counted. They’ve not wanted anyone else during the time that’s passed since they met and the feelings have been the same and mutual, only increasing with time.  
  
”Please, read to me… Pretty please?”  
”Alright, alright! Jesus… start with the sauce, will ye?”  
  
He’s not annoyed in the least, Billy knows it and he can’t help but grinning widely as his boyfriend fetches his manuscript from the bag. Ned slaps him lightly with the folded papers. His theater group are working on _Tartuffe_ and Billy’s been begging for quite some time for a little private show, even if he’s not actually intrerested in theater. He’s just curious of how his boyfriend will be while acting.  
  
”Lets see…  We take from this nights rehearsal then. Aye, this is act 3, second scene, when the family housemaid Dorine tries to expose Tartuffe, since she’s realising he’s a bloody fraud. Ye read her lines.”  
”What?”  
”Otherwise it wont make sense, ye muppet.”  
”Ah… Where do we begin?”  
”Right here.”  
  
Ned strikes a pose, chin lifted and hands folded together on his chest.  
  
”Hang up me hair-shirt, put me scourge in place, and prey, Laurent, for Heaven’s perpetual grace. I’m going to the prison now, to share me last few coins with the poor wretches there.”  
  
The fact that he says _me_ instead of _mine_ , emphasis on the Irish slang while turning his face to the one of a ridiculously high and mighty fake priest, makes it even more funny and Billy reads his lines with more giggle than expression while frying the mushrooms along with peppers and tomatos.  
  
”Dear God, what affectation! What a fake!”  
”Ye wished to see me?”  
”Yes…”  
  
Ned takes a clean kitchen tovel with an affronted look and holds out before him.  
  
”For mercy’s sake, please take this handkerchief, before ye speak.”  
”What?”  
”Cover that bosom, girl. The flesh is weak, and unclean thoughts are difficult to control. Such sights as that can undermine the soul.”  
”Alright, stop. Stop!”  
  
Billy’s laughing so much he can’t keep reading. Ned looks absolutely ridiculous, his expression even better than Billy would’ve guessed and the highly exaggerated accent only adds to the portrait. Ned smiles.  
  
”Ye think I’ll pass as a fraud priest?”  
”Oh man, how can you keep a straight face while doing that?”  
”Twentyfive years of practice. Where’s the pasta?”  
”On top of the fridge.”  
  
The water’s boiling and Billy adds spices and crushed tomatos to the sauce, stirring it as he feels Ned’s arms around him, his face leaned against his shoulders as he pours pasta in the water.  
  
”Wanna come and watch it? The play?”  
  
Billy smiles, cheeks heating for some reason.  
  
”I’d love to. If you let me.”  
”Wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want ye there, muppet.”  
  
A soft kiss in the neck and then his very new boyfriend sets the table and takes out more beer from the fridge. Billy pours the water from the pasta and then they sit down to eat, lighting candles like some fucking romantics and arguing about wine. Billy prefers red, Ned never drinks anything but white and the argue is completely pointless and that’s why they do it. Because it’s fun.  
  
What Billy loves more than anything with Ned, is his ability to loose himself in discussions about interesting, odd, ordinary and right down mad things. The man picks up some pasta on his fork, looking at it with his one seeing eye.  
  
”One of me coworkers started on a diet last week, claiming pasta made him fat.”  
”Is he fat?”  
”Nah. But a lot of people seem fucking scared of carbs.”  
”You’re not one of them, I hope.”  
”I’m more scared of a lack of chocolate and beer, actually. If England’s out of that, I’ll probably have to start a revolution or something.”  
  
Billy laughs.  
  
”There are like almost twohundred states in the world, Ned. If England runs out of beer and chocolate, we just go to France or something.”  
”Germany has better beer.”  
”True. Was thinking about the chocolate.”  
”We go to France for the chocolate, Germany for the beer and then we get back here and start our revolution.”  
”Our?”  
”Not that I want to pressure ye, but ye have _no idea_ how grumpy I get when I’m out of Erdinger and butterscotch truffles. Trust me, ye’ll have to join me.”  
”That sounds very dangerous. I’d get out of shape in no time if I had that stuff around.”  
”No you wont. Round is a shape too, muppet.”  
  
It’s comments like that one, that makes Billy feel all warm inside. Ned means what he says. It’s not just something he spits out because he thinks it’s expected. Sitting in the kitchen and having homemade dinner with him for the first time, just talking nonsense and drinking beer is what Billy’s wished he could’ve done before without constantly worry about not being enough.  
  
It’s peaceful, funny and challenging all the same. Talking, listening, just staying in this without any tension. Billy remembers countless dinners, drinks or just snacks with friend on a party, where he’s felt like a piece of meat. People, mostly women but also men, ”accidently” touching him, pressing up against him or planting themselves onto his lap. Pretending to want to talk, but with one single goal in mind. Billy doesn’t fall in love with women, but it’s still frustrating to be seen as a body and nothing more. With men it’s worse, because they think they can change him.  
  
When they’re done with dinner, they move to Billy’s couch. Ned brings their beers and they choose a movie. _Watchmen_ is a favourite for both of them and an easy choice. Planted in the couch with a little space between them, Ned with legs pressed to his chest, and a comfortable silence in the room, they focus on the movie. Only not at all. Hearts are pounding a bit too fast for that.  
  
For Billy, it’s not about a complete lack of sexual urges, only a very distinctive disinterest when it comes to act upon them. Ned doesn’t lack them either, he just fails to see the point in fucking, as he puts it. He doesn’t want another person close in that way. It feels completely unnecessairy for both of them and too much closeness can all too easily become too much. So they’re searching for balance.  
  
Ned’s hand is within comfortable reach and Billy can feel the scent from his after shave. His hair hangs loose over the shoulders, hiding the neck. Realising Billy’s looking, he turns around with a smile.  
  
”What are ye thinking about?”  
”You.”  
”Oh, really?”  
  
Billy leans to pinch his earlobe lightly and Ned catches his hand, keeping it by his neck. Billy moves to Ned’s corner, the longing for physical closeness strong and importunate. He puts a large arm around his shoulders and Ned moves closer. Billy swallows.  
  
”Are you alright with this?”  
”More than alright, actually. Ye?”  
”Same. Only…”  
”What?”  
”No further… Okay?”  
  
This closeness. It’s enough. He doesn’t want it to decrease, but not increase either. And despite what he knows, what they both know and accept with each other, the old fear can easily come to life. Ned just pats his hand.  
  
”I don’t want to go any further either, babe. This is just perfect.”  
  
Further doesn’t mean sex. That’s already out of the question. It means kisses and moving hands and Billy can’t even begin to tell how relieved he is for the assurance. He’s been fooled so many times not even the notion about Ned’s orientation is enough to feel secure in this situation. He needs the spoken words, the audible confirmation to relax.  
  
”Billy…”  
”Yeah?”  
”I don’t _need_ to touch ye to feel close to ye. I like touching ye, very much, but it’s not… Look, as long as we’re asking it’ll be fine.”  
”You think so?”  
”Yeah. I mean, the worst thing I know about dating someone, is when ye’re not allowed to have yer space. Like my body is a fecking extension of someone else… I don’t explain it very well…”  
”Yeah you do.”  
  
Billy lets his mouth rest in Ned’s hair.  
  
”I’ve never _not_ felt uncomfortable, sitting close like this with someone before. You’re the first ace person I’ve been with and I’m still…”  
”Afraid?”  
”Uh-huh.”  
  
Ned sighs, but he’s also smiling.  
  
”Ye think there’s ever been a time and place where a buck hasn’t been seen as a bloody walking slong?”  
”If you by that mean guy and dick on two legs, no I don’t.”  
”I speak too much damn slang.”  
”Think it’s adorable, actually. You’re fucking adorable.”  
  
He presses a light kiss on Ned’s hair and Ned moves to lie down. Billy lets him have his arm as a pillow, spooning him on the couch. His boyfriend still has a soft smile on his lips and he entangles his hand with Billy’s on his chest. Keeping still without disturbing moves. Ned’s body feels so good. The pressure is light, just a little space between them and Billy’s lips are brushing against Ned’s neck, the soft skin over the spine, nose in the hair. He nibbles the neck, getting strains of hair stuck on this lips. Ned chuckles.  
  
”Maybe I should cut it.”  
”No! I mean… I don’t have any say in that, but…”  
  
Laugh. He loves Ned’s laugh.  
  
”Don’t worry, babe. I like it long.”  
”It suits you.”  
  
He swallows, buries his nose in the hair, right at the spot in the neck. It stirs up things he’s not really comfortable feeling, at least not right now and he increases the distance again. Ned just strokes his hand just a little, confirming it’s alright. They don’t need to feel like there’s something wrong with them, not even when they don’t exactly know where their limits are.  
  
”Would… uhm… would you like to stay here tonight?”  
  
Is he crossing a line too early? Three months and they’ve not yet spent a night together. Not that they don’t want to, they’ve longed to sleep next to each otherfor a long time, but non of them wants to risk screwing things up by diving in too quickly. Ned turns around, smiling.  
  
”Is it alright with ye?”  
”Uh-huh.”  
”I’d love to.”  
”Just… can we… you know, not…?”  
”Not sleep naked? Aye, I’d like to have some clothes on, please.”  
  
The smile again. Wider, little wrinkles around his eyes and Billy feels like he’s about to suffer a minor heart attack or something. Exactly how is it that he’s been so lucky? Finding someone like Ned. Who understands more than Billy says.  
  
It feels good letting all the explanations, the tiresome preparations go. Billy’s hardly aware of how much tension that’s going off him.  
  
”What’s wrong, Billy?”  
”Nothing, I just…”  
  
Yeah, he’s crying. Ned increases the distance a little but Billy’s not having that.  
  
”Don’t let go. I’m fine, really.”  
”Ye’r cryin’.”  
”Don’t… let go of me, Ned. _Please…_ ”  
  
An arm under his head, another around his shoulders. Ned’s throat, his Adam’s apple against his lips.  
  
”I’m not letting go. C’mere, muppet.”  
  
Being hold. Billy’s used to be the one holding. He’s a big man and well… Ned’s almost twenty centimeters shorter than him. For some bullshit reason Billy’s not counted on the need for Ned to hold him. Or even pictured himelf in this position, being spooned by a short, one-eyed Irish dude and not freaking out.  
  
”Have two covers, ye know.”  
  
Billy laughs, stroking away his tears.  
  
”Where have you been all my life, Ned?”  
”The wrong place, I guess.”  
”You know I’m in love with you, right?”  
  
A soft breath, Ned’s fingers tightning just a little around his back.  
  
”And I’m in love with ye too, muppet.”  
  
Can it be this easy? A part of Billy thinks it’s too good to be true. There must be a trap somewhere, some sort of obstacle he and Ned can’t see, ready to pop up at any time to ruin this little oasis.  
  
”Don’t worry so much, Billy. Ye have me permission to shove me off yer bed at any moment on one condition.”  
”And what’s that?”  
”That there’s a mattress I can land on.”  
  
The last piece of worry melts away so easy it’s like the tension never was there in the first place. Tears stop coming, chest relaxing. Silly giggles taking over along with kisses and Billy nibbles Ned’s ear.  
  
”More beer or wine?”  
”Warm milk with honey.”  
”What?”  
”Just kidding. I’d love some wine.”  
  
They finish watching the movie, not more focused now, but far more relaxed. Ned sits in Billy’s lap, sipping on a glass of white, chilled wine and Billy is still amazed by the fact that it doesn’t bother him that he’s feeling heat in his stomach, that Ned certainly can feel he’s half hard, that Billy can see the slight bulge in Ned’s jeans, but it’s not disturbing because they’re with someone who knows it doesn’t mean they’ve changed. That bodies can react in a way that doesn’t reflect what the heart and mind wants.  
  
Billy’s bed is big enough for two and later, when they get ready for the night, all previous worry seem to have left them. Billy’s fairly sure he’s been more afraid than Ned, but it doesn’t matter. The sound of his boyfriend brushing his teeth in the bathroom, as Billy puts the lights out and takes another blanket and sleeping sheet from the wardrobe, makes him ridiculously happy. When Ned is done, dressed in borrowed sweatpants and a t-shirt, too large for him, Billy takes to the bathroom and gets ready before going back to the bed. Ned’s already under the cover, smiling.  
  
”C’mere.”  
  
He’s so screwed. He puts the light out and lays down, close to Ned who’s waiting without any hidden agendas or unspoken expectations. Billy lays his arm out and his boyfriend snuggles into his chest. Ned’s body is comfortable to hold, safe and warm. His hand strokes Billy’s back in little circles over the shoulders, their legs intertwine easily and Ned’s calm breathing, the warm air going through Billy’s t-shirt to his skin, is soothing.  
  
”Night, babe.”  
”G’night, muppet.”  
  
Lips finding each other, brushing with ease and longing. Nosetips, foreheads touching, invisible smiles in the darkness, discovered from the curve of their mouths. A light kiss. And a notion that this, whatever it is, doesn’t need to change.  
  
**THE END**


End file.
